Duet

Sometimes it’s easier for me to look at my own existence as a playgoer would a performance.

I love the theater because I see mortals doing as I must. For my karmic crimes I am separate from the wheel of creation, denied the interchange of chi and barred from the give and take of life.

Gaki must take to survive, but to give, I must imitate life. My sensei once likened our dharma to an unruly schoolboy who was expelled from the classroom and now can only learn by peeking through a crack in the wall.

So the Dance of the Thrashing Dragon is like a play, and I must put on a role, some performances as a predator, some as a victim, some as a beast, sometimes as a force of nature itself. I love to watch the humans do the same.

Usagi, the young lead, is still very much the quiet man he was when we saw him die and return. He is respectful and thoughtful, but we can see now how hard he tries. He has learned some things and we can feel a little hope for what he might become.

He is bolder, and more willing to take chances reaching out to people, though he is still awkward. He speaks to the Uji that he is training to join, and tries to do what he never did with anyone in his mortal life: to get to know them.

He fights Keeper of Forgotten Temples and the older gaki shows him tricks of the blade. It would have been the first of many such hours, save for the death that will soon claim Keeper.

He speak to Zhizu, and here we can be pleasantly surprised! A success! He speaks with the Devil Tiger about the lover he heard the gossip of and he asks about her first breath. Here we are shocked, for Zhizu has been such a quiet and severely controlled character in this drama that to hear her give consent and to explain her life and death leaves us stunned! We can almost see the new understanding in Usagi’s eyes. He asks her to pillow, and he hold our breath. We’ve seen his attraction to the dangerous beauty since he first met her, and we know the respect he has for her. We know also how fierce she is and we sit on the edge of our seats to see if she will tear him limb from limb.

We laugh out loud in relief as she declines him politely. She seems to have respect for the Rabbit as well, and after all, her new lover is every inch as dangerous as she.

The next scene shows us in a large and perfectly ordered garden. Stones and weeds grow in careful disarray, perfectly hiding and highlighting the careful design. The Resplendent Cranes meditate and train here, but tonight, Yuki is here to commit seppuku.

Honor compelled her to make a deal with a vile goblin spider, but honor also demands that she cleanse herself of that shame. The drawn wakazashi flashes light out over the audience and on Yuki’s perfectly composed face.

We see the Frostwings Uji in attendance, stirring the plot, and we see the Daimyo of the House, overseeing her act. There in the back is Usagi, bravely watching. We can see that he would like to look away, that he cares for his friend and does not like to see this. And it is the first ritual suicide he has seen and he does not want to dishonor his friend by looking away, or by reacting.

Yuki dies well, her death poem received with thoughtfully closed eyes and her graceful cuts with an approving nod from the Daimyo. There is a sense of renewal. Honor has been satisfied, the shame has been wiped away and new challenges await the eager young gaki. There is no foreshadowing of the tragedy that will remove one player from the stage.

It is during the celebration afterwards that Yuki asks Usagi a favor: Will he consent to live with her for one week, to help her to accept men, and to conquer her fear? We can see doubt, or is that the whispering of the Demon in his ear? And he requests time to think about it.

In the next scene we see Flaring Grin and Usagi together drinking sake. We can see the calming effect the older Dragon has on the young hin. They speak about Yuki and about enlightenment and together they analyze the doubt.

When the men part, Usagi confidently gives Yuki his answer. Yes, he will live with her.

What a week it is! We see here what could have been with Miko, a relationship of shared joys and interests. They study together, sharing the katas of the Yin and Yang Pranas, they read books and see plays, and of course, they pillow. It is also a healing time after the death of Keeper of Forgotten Temples.

We can see how hard it is for Usagi to remember that this is for Yuki’s fear. His demon pours its poison in his ear. The voice from backstage whispers that she is using him, that he is nothing to her. The voice tells him that what Yuki really wants has more to do with domination and control.

At the end of seven days, Usagi is left alone on the stage.

…I watch the door for a few moments after Yuki leaves. The one thing that no sensei seems to be able to teach me is how to feel. I was never good at feeling before, thinking, yes, but not feeling.

When next I see Yuki, things will be different. I just hope this had made us closer, and I hope it has given her what she needs. Will she less fearful of myself and Flaring Grin? She revealed a passion that I respect as a Dancing Dragon. She has always turned it towards scholarship, and that is why she was instructed by the Shadow Songs. But people seem to think that the Bone Flowers are the only ones allowed to be intelligent. Yuki has a passion that was out of place in the Yin dharma. Now she can turn both her keen mind, and her strong passion towards the Way of the Resplendent Crane.

I hope I have helped her do that.